RDU to FLL

30,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean is a bad time to wish you'd learned to swim. Yet it is the thought that bounces through my mind as my plane follows its direct route from Raleigh-Durham (RDU) to Fort Lauderdale (FLL). It's March 2016 but I'm not heading to the Sunshine state for spring break. I'm on a mission...perhaps an intervention...or maybe a wellness check. What do you call it when you're going to see your best friend who's on a sudden 72-hour psychiatric hold?

"Happening, coming, or done very quickly in a way that is usually not expected," is how Merriam-Webster defines sudden. As I think back over the past six months I have to face the cold truth that nothing about what's happening has been sudden. This has been a slow burn that lit when no one was watching. I smelled the smoke even felt the heat but just couldn't accept that the fire was real.

"I didn't know it was that bad," is a refrain I will repeat many times before my 36 hour trip ends. For the first time I finally understand why its an ethics violation for counselors to work with their family and friends. I'd like to think I would have recognized the signs in strangers...would've acted quickly to get help. But *Kelly...I made one excuse after another, feeding us both false hope. I didn't ask the question that was just beneath the surface.

"You should come for a visit," she casually states.
"I want to it's just bad timing. The kids...work...2nd job. We'll set something up though."
"Yeah...of course. So what's for dinner?"

How many tacos, spagehettis, and I don't knows masked the conversation we really needed to have?

"How are you really?"
"It sounds like you're drinking more than you use to."
"I'm coming this weekend."

But I literally could not handle the truth.

Or so I thought. The tricky thing about truth, though is that it persists. Hidden...tucked away...discarded...it does not go away, does not give up. It grows darker and stronger and demands to be seen.

And seen it shall be as I place my tray in the upright position and prepare for landing.